It's funny. Before you have your own kids, you don't really hear about all the craziness that comes after having kids...so, naturally it was just one big shock to my dream of motherhood when I slowly found all these things out.....you know, the not-so-fun side of being a mother. I know, I know, you are thinking.....as if she just said that! But, I know for a fact, that every.single.mother has had those moments of wanting to throw in the towel....if ever so brief....we have all had them. Whether it was in the midst of a 2 year old tantrum or out of sheer exhaustion at 3 am when the word 'sleep' has become extinct in your family dictionary, or when you just want to sit down and have your own space and time to just think (about nothing or everything!) but someone is wanting juice, help putting on those next to impossible polly pocket clothes, help cleaning up a spill etc and you just can't get that time alone unless you are in the bathroom (and even that is hard to do!), or the time when your kids are dishevelled and unruly and then *that family* shows up that seems soooo perfect and makes you seem like a failure and you just want to be invisible......those are just some of those challenging moments, to name a few. But I find it's not even in the major moments where motherhood is the hardest, in fact I would argue that it is in the day-to-day life of a mom where some of the biggest mountains need to be traversed. I am talking about serious self-pep-talks....like....ok, only 6 more hours until daddy gets home, I can do this!! And inevitably we make it to the end of the day, and after the kids are tucked in bed, we flop down on whatever clean surface we can find and think....is this what the rest of my life is going to be like? I am EXHAUSTED!!!
One of my biggest struggles has been finding purpose and value in my days.....in what I do. Sometimes it is so hard to see through the barrage of diapers, drool, mashed banana, laundry mountains, dishes, meals and the other 1000 things us mothers do in a day and see the importance of it all....sure, when I sit down and really think of it, I know this is an awesome, important, special, once-in-a-lifetime chance to raise the next generation....and my kids are my favorite, and I love them beyond words and wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.....but how come I lose sight of all that in the day to day sometimes? Why does it have to be so hard? It is a daily, 'die-to-self' job, one that often times is only witnessed by you and God and hopefully one day our kids will 'rise up and called us blessed'....but, that is not why we do what we do.
We are mothers because we have been called to be.
So, in the end, despite the challenging moments/days....be encouraged to know that there is eternal purpose in them.....for you and for your kids. Nothing comes easy....and that is true.....it's gonna hurt, and it's gonna be hard but in the end, we will be who He wants us to be.....so just hang in there as he shapes us through our kids! So, If you haven't had kids yet, don't let this scare you off....embrace it all....you'll never be the same (in a good way) again!
These adorable faces bring the greatest joys and the most challenging moments! |
Sweet Evie, a chance to mold another precious life |
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